Rose-Colored Glasses.

my sister

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 10:00:00 -0600

is at the delicate and confusing age of 8 where she thinks infomercials are real tv programs.

Homework.

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 19:07:39 -0600

But I REALLLYYYY want to read horrible period stories on Jezebel.

boniverotica: ‘Imitation is the highest form of flattery,’ Bon...

Sat, 08 Dec 2012 10:57:32 -0600

boniverotica:

‘Imitation is the highest form of flattery,’ Bon Iver says experimentally.

‘Yes, okay my love,’ I say, not really paying attention.

And then he shows me that he’s made my recipe for pannetone. He cuts a slice of the rich, yellow, chewy, airy loaf, jeweled with orange peel, and I hold it to my nose. It smells like winter.

It’s not exactly the same as the recipe I’ve spent years mastering, but it brings me joy all the same.

I don’t think I’m supposed to like these in the way that I do.

I know you’re waiting for the worst that you can get from...

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 13:55:00 -0600

I know you’re waiting for the worst that you can get from me/ Just treat me good and baby I’ll give you the rest of me/ I’m not the one that you should be making your enemy

Whoa, Solange—- who said you could be my spirit animal and everything I need right now? Alright fine. You can continue killing me softly.

all of these songs are about sex. teenage sex.

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 21:05:15 -0600

A hundred trillion hours of crafting sentences about the financial impediments one might encounter when planning seasons at theatres and shit means I becoming reacquainted with so much pop punk (and with so many institutional catch-22s).

It makes my ass feel less numb.

internet junkyard: i want to sleep with my professor so much that i've told everyone and anyone.

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 21:52:00 -0500

and the sad part is I’m more than confident I have a chance. And am more than willing to get competitive for his coveted affection.

Which makes me a demon.

Anika: Michael was saying that he once had a fling with a student, but only after the class was done

Me: haha yeah i heard that

and i was like “please don’t let that be true. or i’ll apply for that position”

So bad, I make double entendres on accident.

So bad, that Nick said I should use 50 Shades of Grey as a guide.

So bad, that I think about it so much I had to tell tumblr.

And I can’t call in to Loveline anymore can I? Probably for the best I suppose since I’ve been lusting after Dr. Drew since I was 14.

See? Demon.

girl./the shape of things to come.

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 18:57:00 -0500

After three days, I am finally texting both the former one-night stand and the dude with a death wish of being my most current one-night stand back while watching Girls for homework.

I am the end of civilization. The end to rational thought and behavior.

I wish I could say I was doing all of this drunk but alas, I’m just sippin’ on that “Pumpkin Pie Soda” from Whole Foods.

I am the shape of things to come.

I am the Voice of A Generation.

Excuses

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 11:39:54 -0500

Nonna: Do you have boyfriend here?

Me: hah, no.

Nonna: But why? You so pretty and nice!

Me: Io sono molto…impegnato.

Nonna: (sad, shocked face)

It looks like I’m going to continue answering my number 2 most asked question in Italian now. That and I’ll have to start looking at PhD programs so I can hold on to that foolproof excuse.

Dear World,

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 15:22:36 -0500

Dear World,:

Please stop pushing Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham on me. My heart belongs with the funniest girl in the world already.

Thank You, Ryan Adams.

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 18:18:04 -0500

As if drafting a cover letter to this dude (per his request, so there’s that at least) isn’t making me crazy enough, I have to draft an email to ask Noah Baumbach’s brother to let me in his documentary class.

LET ME IN>

Kthx, yr future student

Brittany <3 <3

So thank you beautiful barista boys for all this alt-country love on the speakers. You know what I like.

Texts from friends #2

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 18:10:55 -0500

Texts from friends #2

Dedicating all my spare time convincing my friend to take me to...

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 18:29:39 -0500

Dedicating all my spare time convincing my friend to take me to a military ball. I want to meet the President…again…thrice.

I return home and the first thing my mother tells me to do is...

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:41:04 -0500

I return home and the first thing my mother tells me to do is get a makeover/fix my eyebrows.
—-
A cashier at White Castle actually asks me if my name is Brittany or LaBrittany in all seriousness. I suppose that’s what I get for eating at White Castle.

Hello, Chicago. I’ve missed you a little as well.

There is nothing better than going to the theatah and sitting 2...

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 20:57:00 -0500

There is nothing better than going to the theatah and sitting 2 feet away from one of your childhood heroes.

That moment when “Holy Shit that girl looks like Anna Chlumsky” turns into “Holy Shit THAT IS Anna Chlumsky!” turns into “omgyou’resoprettystill! Vada Sultenfuss and Daria Morgendoffer are totally responsible for my “general sense of malaise”* and defensive demeanor! THANK YOU.!1”

So ask me how this mediocre absurdist Chekovian play was and I’ll tell you it was GREAT! Because of Anna motherfucking Chlumsky.

*actual description of me by my co-worker.

Anyone Who Thinks Courtney Love Killed Kurt Cobain

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 09:40:14 -0500

Is a fucking misogynist.

motherjones: A bad day in San Luis Obispo. Because, duh.

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 15:41:47 -0500

motherjones:

A bad day in San Luis Obispo.

Because, duh.

Thanks Columbia University for Keeping the Hope Alive

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 09:39:26 -0500

but I cannot apply for any of these ~salaried~ jobs yet. :(

Let It Be Known

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 15:53:56 -0500

that I hate Iron and Wine.

"Beyoncé isn’t Beyoncé because she reads comments on the Internet. Beyoncé is in Ibiza, wearing a..."

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 14:11:56 -0500

“Beyoncé isn’t Beyoncé because she reads comments on the Internet. Beyoncé is in Ibiza, wearing a stomach necklace, walking hand in hand with her hot boyfriend. She’s going on the yacht and having a mimosa. She’s not reading shitty comments about herself on the Internet, and we shouldn’t either. I just think, Would Beyoncé be reading this? No, she would just delete it or somebody would delete it for her. What I really need to do is close the computer and then talk back to that voice and say, Fuck you. I don’t give a shit what you think. I’m Beyoncé. I’m going to Ibiza with Jay-Z now, fuck off. Being criticized is part of the job, but seeking it out isn’t. That’s our piece to let go.”

- Kathleen Hanna, interviewed by Melissa Febos in BOMBLOG (via dandyprof)

Getting high. Listening to The Wallflowers. TV Show Pitch...

Sat, 26 May 2012 15:14:56 -0500

Getting high.
Listening to The Wallflowers.
TV Show Pitch Planning- LA version.