is at the delicate and confusing age of 8 where she thinks infomercials are real tv programs.
But I REALLLYYYY want to read horrible period stories on Jezebel.
‘Imitation is the highest form of flattery,’ Bon Iver says experimentally.
‘Yes, okay my love,’ I say, not really paying attention.
And then he shows me that he’s made my recipe for pannetone. He cuts a slice of the rich, yellow, chewy, airy loaf, jeweled with orange peel, and I hold it to my nose. It smells like winter.
It’s not exactly the same as the recipe I’ve spent years mastering, but it brings me joy all the same.
I don’t think I’m supposed to like these in the way that I do.
A hundred trillion hours of crafting sentences about the financial impediments one might encounter when planning seasons at theatres and shit means I becoming reacquainted with so much pop punk (and with so many institutional catch-22s).
It makes my ass feel less numb.
and the sad part is I’m more than confident I have a chance. And am more than willing to get competitive for his coveted affection.
Which makes me a demon.
Anika: Michael was saying that he once had a fling with a student, but only after the class was doneMe: haha yeah i heard thatand i was like “please don’t let that be true. or i’ll apply for that position”
After three days, I am finally texting both the former one-night stand and the dude with a death wish of being my most current one-night stand back while watching Girls for homework.
I am the end of civilization. The end to rational thought and behavior.
I wish I could say I was doing all of this drunk but alas, I’m just sippin’ on that “Pumpkin Pie Soda” from Whole Foods.
I am the shape of things to come.
I am the Voice of A Generation.
Nonna: Do you have boyfriend here?
Me: hah, no.
Nonna: But why? You so pretty and nice!
Me: Io sono molto…impegnato.
Nonna: (sad, shocked face)
It looks like I’m going to continue answering my number 2 most asked question in Italian now. That and I’ll have to start looking at PhD programs so I can hold on to that foolproof excuse.
Dear World, -
Please stop pushing Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham on me. My heart belongs with the funniest girl in the world already.
As if drafting a cover letter to this dude (per his request, so there’s that at least) isn’t making me crazy enough, I have to draft an email to ask Noah Baumbach’s brother to let me in his documentary class.
LET ME IN>
Kthx, yr future student
Brittany <3 <3
So thank you beautiful barista boys for all this alt-country love on the speakers. You know what I like.