is at the delicate and confusing age of 8 where she thinks infomercials are real tv programs.

But I REALLLYYYY want to read horrible period stories on Jezebel. 

:(

boniverotica:

‘Imitation is the highest form of flattery,’ Bon Iver says experimentally.

‘Yes, okay my love,’ I say, not really paying attention.

And then he shows me that he’s made my recipe for pannetone. He cuts a slice of the rich, yellow, chewy, airy loaf, jeweled with orange peel, and I hold it to my nose. It smells like winter.

It’s not exactly the same as the recipe I’ve spent years mastering, but it brings me joy all the same.

I don’t think I’m supposed to like these in the way that I do.

I know you’re waiting for the worst that you can get from me/ Just treat me good and baby I’ll give you the rest of me/ I’m not the one that you should be making your enemy

Whoa, Solange—- who said you could be my spirit animal and everything I need right now? Alright fine. You can continue killing me softly. 

A hundred trillion hours of crafting sentences about the financial impediments one might encounter when planning seasons at theatres and shit means I becoming reacquainted with so much pop punk (and with so many institutional catch-22s).

It makes my ass feel less numb.

and the sad part is I’m more than confident I have a chance. And am more than willing to get competitive for his coveted affection.

Which makes me a demon. 

Anika: Michael was saying that he once had a fling with a student, but only after the class was done 

Me: haha yeah i heard that

 and i was like “please don’t let that be true. or i’ll apply for that position”

After three days, I am finally texting both the former one-night stand and the dude with a death wish of being my most current one-night stand back while watching Girls for homework.

I am the end of civilization. The end to rational thought and behavior.

I wish I could say I was doing all of this drunk but alas, I’m just sippin’ on that “Pumpkin Pie  Soda” from Whole Foods.

I am the shape of things to come.

I am the Voice of A Generation.

Nonna: Do you have boyfriend here?

Me: hah, no.

Nonna: But why? You so pretty and nice!

Me: Io sono molto…impegnato.

Nonna: (sad, shocked face)

It looks like I’m going to continue answering my number 2 most asked question in Italian now. That and I’ll have to start looking at PhD programs so I can hold on to that foolproof excuse. 

Please stop pushing Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham on me. My heart belongs with the funniest girl in the world already.

As if drafting a cover letter to this dude (per his request, so there’s that at least) isn’t making me crazy enough, I have to draft an email to ask Noah Baumbach’s brother to let me in his documentary class. 

LET ME IN>

Kthx, yr future student

Brittany <3 <3

So thank you beautiful barista boys for all this alt-country love on the speakers. You know what I like.