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my sister

is at the delicate and confusing age of 8 where she thinks infomercials are real tv programs.

10:00 am, BY teamcapote

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Homework.

But I REALLLYYYY want to read horrible period stories on Jezebel. 

:(

07:07 pm, BY teamcapote

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boniverotica:

‘Imitation is the highest form of flattery,’ Bon Iver says experimentally. ‘Yes, okay my love,’ I say, not really paying attention.And then he shows me that he’s made my recipe for pannetone. He cuts a slice of the rich, yellow, chewy, airy loaf, jeweled with orange peel, and I hold it to my nose. It smells like winter.It’s not exactly the same as the recipe I’ve spent years mastering, but it brings me joy all the same.

I don’t think I’m supposed to like these in the way that I do.

boniverotica:

‘Imitation is the highest form of flattery,’ Bon Iver says experimentally.

‘Yes, okay my love,’ I say, not really paying attention.

And then he shows me that he’s made my recipe for pannetone. He cuts a slice of the rich, yellow, chewy, airy loaf, jeweled with orange peel, and I hold it to my nose. It smells like winter.

It’s not exactly the same as the recipe I’ve spent years mastering, but it brings me joy all the same.

I don’t think I’m supposed to like these in the way that I do.

10:57 am, BY teamcapote[101 notes]

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I know you’re waiting for the worst that you can get from me/ Just treat me good and baby I’ll give you the rest of me/ I’m not the one that you should be making your enemy


Whoa, Solange—- who said you could be my spirit animal and everything I need right now? Alright fine. You can continue killing me softly. 

01:55 pm, BY teamcapote[1 note]

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all of these songs are about sex. teenage sex.

A hundred trillion hours of crafting sentences about the financial impediments one might encounter when planning seasons at theatres and shit means I becoming reacquainted with so much pop punk (and with so many institutional catch-22s).

It makes my ass feel less numb.

09:05 pm, BY teamcapote

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internet junkyard: i want to sleep with my professor so much that i’ve told everyone and anyone.

and the sad part is I’m more than confident I have a chance. And am more than willing to get competitive for his coveted affection.

Which makes me a demon. 

Anika: Michael was saying that he once had a fling with a student, but only after the class was done 

Me: haha yeah i heard that
 and i was like “please don’t let that be true. or i’ll apply for that position”
So bad, I make double entendres on accident.

So bad, that Nick said I should use 50 Shades of Grey as a guide.

So bad, that I think about it so much I had to tell tumblr.

And I can’t call in to Loveline anymore can I? Probably for the best I suppose since I’ve been lusting after Dr. Drew since I was 14.
See? Demon.
09:52 pm, BY teamcapote[2 notes]

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girl./the shape of things to come.

After three days, I am finally texting both the former one-night stand and the dude with a death wish of being my most current one-night stand back while watching Girls for homework.

I am the end of civilization. The end to rational thought and behavior.

I wish I could say I was doing all of this drunk but alas, I’m just sippin’ on that “Pumpkin Pie  Soda” from Whole Foods.

I am the shape of things to come.

I am the Voice of A Generation.

06:57 pm, BY teamcapote

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Excuses

Nonna: Do you have boyfriend here?

Me: hah, no.

Nonna: But why? You so pretty and nice!

Me: Io sono molto…impegnato.

Nonna: (sad, shocked face)

It looks like I’m going to continue answering my number 2 most asked question in Italian now. That and I’ll have to start looking at PhD programs so I can hold on to that foolproof excuse. 

11:39 am, BY teamcapote[1 note]

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Dear World,

Please stop pushing Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham on me. My heart belongs with the funniest girl in the world already.

03:22 pm, BY teamcapote

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Thank You, Ryan Adams.

As if drafting a cover letter to this dude (per his request, so there’s that at least) isn’t making me crazy enough, I have to draft an email to ask Noah Baumbach’s brother to let me in his documentary class. 

LET ME IN>

Kthx, yr future student

Brittany <3 <3

So thank you beautiful barista boys for all this alt-country love on the speakers. You know what I like.

06:18 pm, BY teamcapote